Busby and his team of researchers surveyed more than two thousand couples ranging in age from nineteen to seventy-one years and found that communication, sexual quality, perceived stability and relationship satisfaction were better for those couples who had waited until after marriage to consummate their relationship. The bottom line, then, would seem to be that in order to give marriage the best chance of survival, it’s best to make each other wait.

…if sustainability is the wave of the future – future intelligence experts around the globe are saying so – then the ecology of love philosophy is both green and desirable.

It’s also as ancient as the philosophies that inform sacred sexuality. Being conscious in bed, making vibrant love, connecting with another person in mind, body and spirit can be understood in parallel to the four basic components of our planet – earth, water, air and fire – and applying them to our relationships…

Owning Pink: “Green Sexuality: Is The Ecology Of Love A Fad Or The Future Of Sex?”

(Source: owningpink.com)

The erotic has often been misnamed by men and used against women. It has been made into the confused, the trivial, the psychotic, and plasticized sensation. For this reason, we have turned away from the exploration and consideration of the erotic as a source of power and information, confusing it with the pornographic. But pornography is a direct denial of the power of the erotic, for it represents the suppression of true feeling. Pornography emphasizes sensation without feeling.

From “The Uses of the Erotic” by Audre Lord

I define heterosexual pornography as material created for heterosexual males that combines sex and/or the exposure of genitals with the abuse or degradation of females in a manner that appears to endorse, condone, or encourage such behavior.

Erotica refers to sexually suggestive or arousing material that is free of sexism, racism, and homophobia, and respectful of all human beings and animals portrayed. This definition takes into account that humans are not the only subject matter of erotica. For example, I remember seeing a short award-winning erotic movie depicting the peeling of an orange. The shapes and coloring of flowers or hills can make them appear erotic. Many people find Georgia O'Keeffe’s paintings erotic. But erotica can also include overtly or explicitly sexual images.

From Against Pornography: The Evidence of Harm by Diana E. H. Russell

Dr. Robert Jensen: "How do we construct a healthy sexual culture that understands sex in the context of fostering healthy human relationships?"

On The Good Men Project: How do you build a culture in which human beings flourish? is the fundamental question – part of that question has to do with sex: How do you build a culture in which human beings flourish sexually? There’s no one answer to that, but that’s the conversation we have to have.

Secrets of Relationship Happiness You Won't Learn from Porn

The Case for Marriage, Gay and Straight

MSNBC's Keith Olbermann Speaks Out Against Prop 8

British Medical Journal: Happiness and Social Factors

Making Today's Marriage Work: Smart Women and Egalitarian Relationships

David Bornstein: "Pursuing Happiness"

Hugo Schwyzer Reviews "Getting Off" by Robert Jensen

Wall Street Journal: "What's at the Heart of Happiness?"

Patrick Phillips...What Love Is

How to Talk about Porn with Your 11-Year-Old Son